![]() ![]() You know it is Russia because it is depressing, and if it was in the London Tube it would just be several people tutting because the public transport is off service. Speaking of picking up something slightly wrong, Metro: 2033 Redux is a game about some people living in the underground of Moscow because that pesky apocalypse has appeared again. It is a fascinating game with some of the worst animation of cows, goats, those horses with the black and white stripes that some idiots call “a zed-bra,” and Mammuthus primigenius. It is especially jarring when you think of an Alan Watts lecture playing, which gives it a hint of gravitas, but it looks like a child spent five nanoseconds in Unity creating the cow animation. ![]() It’s quite jarring to have a simple armadillo skitter and then suddenly a pack of cows come rolling through on their face. On your face, bumhole, back, or legs are the only frames you get. Everything smaller than a chimp and larger than a planet animates fairly well, but when you are a cow or camel there are a total of four frames of animation. The glaring issue is after you get up to galaxies (or go down because the universe is a loop), they float around and do as galaxies do. Plants and other objects such as crystals will grow and plant themselves across the mass of whatever you are on. Microorganisms or anything as small as that float around as if they make up everything, which elements like hydrogen pretty much do. When you play as a rock or pebble, the animations work as they are fully animated and move like rocks would roll and tumble. ![]() The problem with that is, much like me last week, the developer cut some corners when it comes to some portions of the game. That being said, you can play as about three-thousand different things in Everything. This isn’t a playable character in any video game but particularly, not in this one. Though, I doubt you can play as a manic-depressive Chechnyan man who works in a store stacking shelves by day, and by night, works in a gay bar doing illicit acts for five dollars a pop to keep his family afloat. As the title suggests you can play as many different things, not everything. Overall it is a perfectly fine artsy game with a major glaring flaw in the center of it. Įverything is a strange game about the universe with small segments of philosophy from Alan Watts. As I said last week, this is not the entirety of the storefront it is David O’Reilly’s Everything. So let’s calm down a little from that and do a semi-review of Everything. It was like a mid-2000s wrestling match just without the white rapper winning all the time. Six games with six grown men in tights growling grimly at colorful men and Catwoman’s breasts. Not because I had a mess to fix once I had workmen round to fit a new kitchen it was what followed that which was the complete and utter mess. Well, last week’s Epic Games store article was a mess. ![]()
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